So much has changed this year and a lot of that has been over the course of this summer. There has been a large amount of time spent wondering, pondering, thinking... trying to figure out certain aspects of my life, what I ultimately want, and who I really am. That probably sounds really corny, but it's all stuff that I hadn't considered too deeply until this Spring, and now seems like the opportune time to be giving serious thought to everything that I hadn't analyzed previously.
It's kind of scary, trying to figure out what your motivations are; why do I want some things and not others; what are my underlying reasons for saying and doing what I do; why are my attitudes toward things the way that they are?
Some of it I feel that I am finding answers to, while others remain a mystery still. I hope to figure them out eventually, but for now, I'm content to go with the flow while I continue to ponder; go with the flow, but still keeping my life in a place that I'm comfortable and happy with - I feel like I compromised a lot of who I was in the past and am no longer willing to do that for anyone. Slightly selfish? Probably, but it's how I have to be because I spent years driving myself absolutely crazy trying to please certain other people, until I realized that doing this was what was a major stressor...
On another note, this past weekend I was on a Dragonboat team. The team was called the "South Saskatchewan Raft-Riders" and we were decked out in RoughRider paraphernalia . The entire day was fantastic and the team won first place in the second division! Hopefully I'll write more about that at a later day, but for now, it's bedtime...
...just as soon as I finish trolling iTunes.
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