Another "Sun-Soaked" Season Fades Away

I'm alive!

It's been a ridiculously busy past couple weeks and that trend is only going to continue it seems.

What's been happening?

• The Fringe Festival
• Inception
• Work at the lab
• Work at the store
• Cirque du Soleil's Allegria
• Dragonboats
• I sewed a dress on my last day off
• Despicable Me
• Get Him to the Greek
• Forestry Farm

What's to come?

• Saskatoon Exhibition
• Friends from Halifax in town
• Michael Buble concert
• Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
• Pack for Halifax trip
• Halifax trip
• Work at lab (only 7 days of that left)
• Work at store
  
• Volunteer at Orientation
• End of Summer party
• Back to classes; FINAL YEAR!

I'm really getting excited to go back to school; see friends - have everyone be in one place all day! It's been a great summer, but I'm ready to go back, finish this degree, get my iron ring, see my friends again, and embrace what the next chapter of my life holds for me :)

Aside: this trip to Halifax? Gunna be SWEET!

Joebo, if you're reading this - I'll see you in a week! WOOHOO!!!!

Sorry, this update is lame. The "To Do" list is stretching ever longer and I finally can half-heartedly cross off "update blog". I'll try to keep my journal during the trip, so I can write excerpts upon my return :)



Have a wonderful evening everyone; I'll see you all later/soon!

21st Century Breakdown

I love and hate the world we live in; 24 hour convenience; flashy neon signs; rushing, racing, crowded everything...

It disgusts me, and yet, I use and take advantage of it all...

The Constants are Variable

So much has changed this year and a lot of that has been over the course of this summer. There has been a large amount of time spent wondering, pondering, thinking... trying to figure out certain aspects of my life, what I ultimately want, and who I really am. That probably sounds really corny, but it's all stuff that I hadn't considered too deeply until this Spring, and now seems like the opportune time to be giving serious thought to everything that I hadn't analyzed previously.

It's kind of scary, trying to figure out what your motivations are; why do I want some things and not others; what are my underlying reasons for saying and doing what I do; why are my attitudes toward things the way that they are?

Some of it I feel that I am finding answers to, while others remain a mystery still. I hope to figure them out eventually, but for now, I'm content to go with the flow while I continue to ponder; go with the flow, but still keeping my life in a place that I'm comfortable and happy with - I feel like I compromised a lot of who I was in the past and am no longer willing to do that for anyone. Slightly selfish? Probably, but it's how I have to be because I spent years driving myself absolutely crazy trying to please certain other people, until I realized that doing this was what was a major stressor...

On another note, this past weekend I was on a Dragonboat team. The team was called the "South Saskatchewan Raft-Riders" and we were decked out in RoughRider paraphernalia . The entire day was fantastic and the team won first place in the second division! Hopefully I'll write more about that at a later day, but for now, it's bedtime...

...just as soon as I finish trolling iTunes.

You will know the sound of nothing

... Think about it for a second

And feel the cool, cool breeze on your neck and then
Think about it for a second
If there ever was a day that you should get away
I feel it in my bones I think today's the day
And you can't back down ...

... Its time to fly ...

These Changes Ain't Changing Me

... I got soul, but I'm not a soldier ...

... Yeah, you know you got to help me out
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You know you got to help me out
You're gonna bring yourself down
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, oh don't you put me on the back burner
You're gonna bring yourself down
Yeah, you're gonna bring yourself down

Over and in, last call for sin
While everyone's lost, the battle is won
With all these things that I've done
All these things that I've done
If you can hold on
If you can hold on

Prelude to Being on a Boat

It makes me smile to think of the day that I just had.

Contentment.

I feel like I've reached the top of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs pyramid. :D

Why?

When I arrived at home, I decided that waffles were the way to go - so I made a batch of waffles and shared them with my awesome older sister, who works with my mom, so was at the house. Mmmmm waffles. There were even leftovers, so I froze them for her to have on other days.

I then cut apart the dress pattern I got the day before from Walmart, in the hopes of making a Roughrider green dress to go with the Rider theme the DragonBoat team I'm on has (we're called the "Raftriders"... tee hee). After cutting apart the pattern, I laid out the fabric I'd gotten, and that my mommy had so thoughtfully washed and preshrunk for me the night before, and cut out the pieces I would need to sew my dress.

I then hunkered in for a 6 hour afternoon of sewing. There were many exclamations of wishing the dress would come together more quickly, and realizations that I really lack the patience for sewing; I am too much a part of the "instant gratification" mindset that my generation has.

By 5:30, the dress was done. I must admit, I'm quite impressed with my sewing prowess. It will never compare to any of my mom's seamstress skills (she's got mad sewing kung fu... "sew fu" if you will), but nonetheless, still decent enough to make a dress (and my annual toga for Toga Small Town Dry).

Now my bag is finally packed for tomorrow... made sure I have anything I might need while spending the day at Rotary Park. Anyone in Saskatoon tomorrow should definitely stop by and watch a couple races!

And so ends my day. I need to sleep NOW because Britt and I are planning to be "team show-up-at-5:30-a.m.-in-order-to-get-a-decent-parking-space"....

So, good night!

Musical Time Machine

This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

. . .

Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean
I didn't enjoy it at the time

. . .

Goodness knows I saw it coming
Or at least I'll claim I did
But in truth I'm lost for words

This song stirs such memories in me. It's from "the Last Kiss" soundtrack. I love the beat for walking to especially and am particularly reminded of walking from my parking lot on campus over by the CLS (synchrotron) to the College of Engineering building two years ago.

So much has changed since then and even though it really hasn't been that long of a time, the amount of events that have taken place makes it feel like eons and eons have passed. Some events good, some bad, some insignificant...

I love songs that make me remember days, events, feelings...

"Call him 'Ed'"

Where was I a year ago today? At work, with my phone ringer on, running back and forth from the washroom as I tried to keep it together; my Grandpa had been in an accident and the outlook was grim - severe burns; I won't go into the details.

That man was stubborn as all hell and EVERY time the doctors told us to say our good-byes and prepare for the worst, he pulled through. We had a terrifying summer of being told that each operation would be the last because his heart was too weak, or he was too old, that he couldn't take it, and he proved them wrong. In his home town, the nurses called him 'the miracle' - and that stubborn, eccentric, bullshitting 'miracle', I am happy to call my 'Grandpa'.

Sunday will mark 7 months since his passing; this is part of my journal entry from shortly after his death:

...I miss you. I'm sorry I never knew you better and that it took me too long to realize how incredible and fascinating you were. Looking back, you were an amazing Grandpa and I am so sorry for ever taking what time we had forgranted. You were so strong and stubborn. I am so glad I inherited even a little of that...

It's been 7 months and it's only easier when I don't let thoughts linger. There are still times when I flip open my phone, see the display picture of my Grandpa and one of the pigs he raised (below), and tear up.

His passing will always hurt and remind me of the immediacy of our mortality, the impermanence of everything, and the brevity of our time here.

I'm a Cat

I have thus far slept 17 of the 24 hours of July 14th, 2010 away; combating a cold and waiting for the fever (which cannot be cured with cow bell) to break.

Today would've been my Grandpa's 84th Birthday :(

More memories to come, for now, I'm going back to bed.

What is real and just a dream?

I can't be losing sleep over this, no, I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

This is over my head
But underneath my feet
'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy



The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain is there is healing

I would like to visit the moon, but I don't think I'd like to live there...

It's Monday night.

So what am I, like the normal 22 year old female that I am, doing?

Well my friend, I'll tell you: I am trolling the internet until the time arrives where iTunes releases the new music for Tuesday - I WANT MY FREE STUFF!

And in the meantime, what's new with me? Not a jolly lot really.

Just finished off a glorious 5 day long weekend (thank you so very very much Canada Day, EDO, and floating holiday for all landing on the same weekend). It was ridicu-busy too.

Saw movies (Eclipse [AWESOME], Grown-ups [very funny]), worked part-time, replaced windshield wipers, visited the library, attended Canada Day festivities, went to Indigo, graced a party with my presence (succeeded at falling asleep curled up in the corner of a couch), survived multiple torrential rain episodes, did laundry, dyed my hair, and grocery shopped... just to name a handful of the occurrences.

I'm pretty proud of myself for my successful awesomeness.

Awww but I just realized my staying-up trolling, waiting on iTunes, has all been in vain - Statutory Holiday = delayed new music typically. Sad Face.

Good night moon.

I reject your wiper blade and input my own

I was driving in to the city yesterday afternoon and it began to rain (what a shock). So I flicked on the windshield wipers in my car. They start swishing back and forth, back and forth, until suddenly, the driver side wiper makes a horrible scrundelling sound (yes, that's right - "scrundelling" - deal with it), the blade snaps clean off the arm and goes flying over the roof of my car.

WTF?

Seriously, whose car throws a windshield wiper blade? I mean really?

At the next light, I could see the people in the car behind me absolutely losing it, laughing at what they had just witnessed.

So I drove through the rain very carefully because I couldn't turn my wipers on (and even if I had, fat lot of good it'd have done me anyway)... upon arriving at my destination (the library!) I called my mom:

"Hi Kimme, what's wrong?"
"Guess what happened during the drive in!"
"Do you have another flat tire?" (I should really just put CAA on speed dial given how often I call them regarding flat tires, dead batteries, keys locked in the car (both while it was running ("fun" story involving getting rear-ended by a SEMI immediately prior) and not running), etc.)
"Nope, my driver side windshield wiper flew off!"
...

I then called a friend to accompany (and by "accompany", I really mean "hold my hand through the dilemma because I'm clueless") me in purchasing a new wiper so that when the next torrential rainstorm hit (an hour and a half later... pouring with such intensity that driving 40 km/h with the wipers going as fast as they could, I was still terrified and had very little visibility... seriously, Saskatchewan, your weather is TOO crazy), I wouldn't die in a horrible flooded out crash.

After a day and a half with my new windshield wipers, I can say for certain that they have already paid for themselves.

"That's not a knife. THIS is a knife"
"That's a spoon"
"Ah, I see you've played Knifey-Spoony before"

The power outage left me nothing to do but blog...

I have a new part-time job; on Saturdays, I take devices used in acts of defying gravity and hang them back up where they belong – aka Stockgirl in a lingerie store. The move from the Photo Lab to there was necessary; after 4 great years of printing photos on Sundays, the higher-ups made the decision to close a bunch of the labs in Western Canada and the one I worked at was, sadly, shut down. While this was a sad ending to a chapter of my (and many others’) life, it has brought around the motivation that I needed to find something new. After two weeks, I am beginning to think I will really like hanging up supportive undergarments – and so begins a new chapter: Saturdays spent Defying Gravity.

Currently, there is a severe thunderstorm going on where I live. These are happening with increasing frequency this year; I find it worrying and far too reminiscent of the movie, The Day After Tomorrow. There have been far too many evenings spent sans electricity as a result and I cannot say I enjoy them one bit. Thank goodness for fully charged laptop batteries – BUT boo-urns to wireless networks that require power; how am I going to watch YouTube videos now??!!

Canada Day is coming up. I’m pretty excited because it means a glorious 5 day weekend… from my full-time job. I’m working two days part-time in the middle. Hopefully I can catch up on some sleep at any rate. I’d also like to finish a chalk-pastel drawing I started a donkey’s age ago (when I was still attending art classes once a week after school… way way back in high school), and want to do more baking (I’m hoping to make bread this weekend, and perhaps also a scratch Angel Food cake to top with Cool Whip and strawberries (to be patriotic?)).

I’ve been doing a lot of baking lately; tweaked a recipe for brownies, rediscovered a beloved childhood no-bake Peanut-Butter Butterscotch Marshmallow square, made a few types of cookies and bars, borrowed my sister’s fantastic Butter Tart recipe, and had a few blunders along the way.

Anytime now would be lovely to have power return; it’s been an hour sitting with candles. Ok, maybe bedtime then.

Upon trying to save this from the document where I am typing it, I’ve also learnt my external hard-drive goes MIA during power-outages… duh, Kim, it doesn’t have its own battery…

"My Life is EMBARRASSING"

So I was at the grocery store the other morning and I noticed that the man ahead of me in line was attractive...

...and so I panned my gaze from his posterior to his arms - also nice...

...and from his arms to his face...

OH GAWD! IT'S MY DENTIST!

...and he's smirking as he has been watching me obviously checking him out.

RED.

FACE.

So I break eye contact and just stare at other things because this incident has made me completely forget his name and I, at this point, cannot possibly string together a sentence (or even words that aren't "GUH"). The cashier finishes ringing through his order and he leaves...

I get out to my car and guess who is parked RIGHT beside me? Yup, Mr. Dentist. And I'm not sure if it was me parking too close to the other parking spot or him squeezing his truck into a spot that was not wide enough for a truck, but he definitely had obviously had to get into his vehicle from the passenger side :S

*Gold star to myself*

Swinging.

I miss the days when life was simple. When you didn't have to worry or wonder about hidden motivations or deceptions - you were just a kid without major responsibilities or problems and you could just go about your life, which consisted of at it's most stressful, trying to decide between the swings or the slide at the park.

I remember an entire childhood summer spent hanging out with a friend at the park behind my home. We'd call each other up and say one simple word: "Park?", and that would be the entire conversation. I'd rush out to the park and we'd meet up at the swing set. He and I would sit on those swings and talk all afternoon and evening. It was a good summer.

Maybe I should go to the park this weekend - swing on the swings until they're so high that my stomach flutters as I plummet back toward the ground and am caught by the chains.

Yes, this weekend, I'm swinging :P